Thursday, August 25, 2005

not a blog

Whatever this website is, it's not a fucking blog. You were probably confused by that little url tagged at the top of the screen that says “jamieabroad.blogspot.com.” First off, blog is an ugly word – a squidgy four letter little turd of a word. Blog does not rhyme with strawberries, sunshine or kissing-in-the-afternoon. Blog does rhyme with snog, a hairball of a British word that reduces the beauty of kissing to the sounds of cooperative gulping. Blog does rhyme with dog, frog, log, flog, bog, clog, smog and sog(gy). Right down to ogre, the associations with “og” in the English language are mostly damp, grayish, and smell funny. My page doesn’t smell funny.

Blogs are sleep inducing records of dog walks, forums for the politically inclined to talk about what a wanker Bush is, pages and pages of goddamned baby pictures. A three AM missive whose contents are "I'm kinda sleepy rite now. Had a ruf day 2day. Here's a pictur of Fluffy drinking from the tolet bowl. Isn't she 2cute?"

This is something much classier and literary. Check out the ridiculous post below "a life in books." The thing was ten single spaced pages on Microsoft Word for chrissakes. Anything that long is way classy.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

JAMIE -- Your postings are always
"way classy". Glad they are appearing again. And that you have a visa to stay -- and keep getting raw material and inspiration to keep being able to say, "I'm Still in Japan". Sukey

rachel said...

Jamie, you pretentious bastard, what are these recent posts? Sometimes I think about being a teacher and then I imagine a land mine like you in the classroom and think better of it. I'm glad you're writing, and I'm SO glad that you get to stay another year (although averaging one day of hanging out per four years seems like we're underperforming, so do slide through Boston when you get a chance).

much love,
rachel